Life Changing Product

Here at the Institute of Help we are always on the lookout for the latest innovative products to share with you, the reader. So when my siesta-taking, ceviche-eating, maya-ruin-visiting, pinto-driving cousin Jose Antonio Julio Marquez Botero Marquez de la Espada Marquez Jr. tells me that he has the best invention in the past 10 years, I am all ears and ready to get patted down to make my way down to Cosoleacaque, Mexico. “It will change your life forever” Jose clichéd.

One flight, two bus-rides, and three donkey shuttles later, I arrive at my cousins hammock to talk shop.
Leading me into a nearby building he takes me past two rooms with [editor snip] and exclaims “Tada! Ayayayayayai!” It appears to be a brand new toilet but in reality it is a used toilet.

Institute of Help: “What is this?”
JAJMBMEM: “A toilet”
Institute of Help: “You didn't have this before?”
JAJMBMEM: “Oh yeah I guess we did”



Safety: 1/5
Fun: 2/5
Overall: 1/10

The Zoo reviewed

"Oh yeeeeeahhh, ohhh yeeeeahhhhh, best animal evarrrr" I could hear as I took a turn around the bend at the zoo. Not being 6'4 my vision was impeded so I could not yet see the organism that this honest-yet-vague praise was for. The foldable zoo map could have clued me in, but I could not find the 'you are here' sign. But from this level of excitement, it meant that people were being entertained by 1) A baby Panda 2) a baby elephant or 3) a baby bush-baby

To my surprise, there was a fourth dark-horse candidate all along: a fuggging actual dark horse.

When people think about the most world-class animals, people usually think of tigers, lions, snakes and alligators. My first thought always goes to horses. Zoos have turned their back on horses for a while now and I for one am happy that now they are once again beginning to be recognized for their contributions to society. I long for the day when I can go to a zoo and see some top specimen chickens, cats, dogs, goldfish, horses, squirrels. So to the 4th grade youngster who said this was the best animal ever, you sir are an imperative thinker.

Other things I would like to see more of at the zoo:

- Tigers

- Lions

- Snakes

- Alligators

- Less gypsies

Fun: 8/10

Safety: 2/10

Overall: 10/10 (cumulative)